Hope
O Eternal Mother
(Ode to Primeval Stone Wall)
Click for meditationRegarding "O Eternal Mother"
What beautiful peace and
Comfort come to me when I recline
Against a stone wall, particularly
In autumn, when all my
Senses are on fire, and every
Nuance of every living and
Dead thing in the woods leaps
Out at me! It is the best time and
Place of the whole year
For me! Every poignant
Event in my life, every recurring
Memory, crawls out from
The crevasses in the
Stone wall I am resting
Against, and comes back
Gently before my heart. I
Feel melancholic, but I also
Feel blessed, because somehow
I have been gifted the
Magnificence of the stone wall
I am leaning against, and its
Wisdom and perseverance
Bring me the sure knowledge of
A listening ear and the
Prospect of an eternal,
New start…
Leo Carroll
May 24, 2018
Like a womb to me you are,
A place to curl against and to softly shut
My eyes, a place where I can feel
Warm and cradled, and a place where
Long ago hands can still humbly labor and
Lay their stones to bound their
Fields and farms and sighs…
Yes, all these centuries later, you
Still steadily run east-west towards and
Away from me, and each of
Your stones, mottled and so smooth,
Offers me a pillow in a bygone
Kindness I find courteous
And disarmingly beautiful…
Ah, I swoon, swoon…and I recline back at
Rest with you — found by autumn,
Unconditionally accepted, and all I have
To do is to daydream, because the
Work has long been done, and the cows
Called home, and the last croaking
Raven flown over the treetops into the
Twilight of the next hollow, and silence now
Alone sits with me as the beech and
Oak and spruce upon me look, and
Occasionally their leaves and
Needles nod to whatever it is they
Perceive…as sunshine dapples
With the shadows, and modulates my
Mood in consonance with the
Beating heart of Thee.
Evening Snowflakes
Click for meditationRegarding "Evening Snowflakes"
At the most unexpected
Times, Creation speaks to us,
And usually this occurs in
Simple ways, so simple and
Routine that these
Communications can
Be overlooked. These gifts
Are meant to be a form
Of sustenance to us, to
Rejuvenate us, to be an
Ameliorating antidote to
The human condition.
And so, whether in the
Form of a flower’s face
Such as the snapdragon, a
Seagull’s call, the sound of a
Rising tide, the dance
Of a monarch butterfly,
The chirp of a late
Summer’s cricket, the
Warmth of the sun on
A south-facing, Maine
Wooded slope, the slow
Pace of a ladybug’s crawl, the
Glint of September’s
Fading light, the rush of
Winter’s wind through the
Tops of trees, a raven croaking
And circling far above, a
Flock of Canadian geese
Beating their wings into a
Stormy night, an autumn maple
Leaf floating on Walden
Pond, and, yes, even
The imperceptible weight
Of dainty snowflakes
On the jacket of a coat like
Mine, as I shut my car
Door and pull up my collar,
Reminding me I was absolutely
Not alone along a
Darkened path leading
Somewhere under no moon.
Leo Carroll
March 11, 2019
Down they come,
Big, soft, silent ones, as if their
Whole life they had
Been slowly falling, and
Finally up’n my shoulders
Land as lightly as if
They had no weight —
Except, that is, for their
Yoke of grace…
The sky against
Which they float has a hint
Of grey, black, and
Some blue, and the sheer
Quiet of their descent
Is staggering, as if they
Were at the end of
Silk puppet strings, and
Made of the curliest,
Winter wool.
Running on Wings
(Finding Grace at "Station Ten" in Boot Camp)
Click for meditationRegarding "Running on Wings"
Some years ago, I
Injured my right leg and ankle.
I had always been athletic, and loved
Playing sports, so when I
Lost the ability to
Run, fully run, it was a
Big loss to me. I missed the
Freedom to exert myself at a very
High level, and I realized I
Had to change my approach, or
My health would deteriorate. And
So I started to concentrate on
What I could do rather
Than what I couldn’t do,
And I discovered I could
Compensate for my lack of
Mobility in other ways.
I added swimming to
My exercise regimen, then
Weight training, stationary bike
Riding, and many other things.
I eventually began to take
Physical fitness classes.
This lead to one class called,
“Boot Camp,” in which
I was subjected to
A wide set of activities,
One being to run between
Two fluorescent-orange, floor cones.
When I first attempted this,
It was very difficult,
Because I ran with a limp. But
I kept trying, and my limp
Became less, and I finally reached the
Point of being able to slowly jog –
And I felt like my feet
Had wings, eagle’s wings, and
It was as if my body was
Lifted off the litter to soar…
Leo Carroll
November 7, 2018
I find myself running on feet
As if they were surely eagle-winged,
When I once thought I would
Ne’er run again, until, that is, my
Healing would come when I walked
Those tall, sweet grasses in the
Fair meadows of Elysium…
But here I am now, my gait
Restored to where I can at least
Meekly jog, and so I race back and
Forth between two fluorescent cones, as
If my feet were finally loosed of the earthen
Cords which kept them bound…
Savasana in Winter
Click for meditationRegarding "Savasana in Winter"
We are a society which relies on
Science and technology to explain things to us, and to
Make easier our lives now and into the future.
In other parts of the world, this is not
Necessarily so much the case, but here in the
United States, science and technology rule
Our daily lives. And so, when things happen
Which are not readily explainable, we are
Perplexed and left looking for answers…
As a simple example, how often is it
That when we are strongly thinking about
Someone that we by chance then
Happen to meet them at a gasoline
Station or while shopping in a
Supermarket, or when a loved one
Comes into our mind who is deceased,
That the next thing we see is their
Favorite bird…? Ordinary things.
Everyday occurrences. And so on and on…
These things to me are mysteries
Which shout out that something
Bigger than we are is at work and is not
Readily explainable, at least as far as
We can understand. About five years ago
I was in an early morning yoga class,
And towards the end of the hour
The yoga instructor asked us to lie
Back onto our mats into savasana pose,
Where we would typically spend
Five to ten minutes in a meditative,
Almost trance-like, relaxing state.
On this particular day, as my mind
Started to relax, it still tangentially clung
Onto something which I had been previously
Thinking about. Then, as I was lying in
My savasana pose, I felt something
Lightly nudge my extended right hand.
The gentle contact got my attention,
And then I felt it again…and
Again…and so I slightly raised my
Head to peek, and there snuggling
Next to my hand was a little red
Medicine ball. Where it came from I
Do not know! The yoga class had
Not been using these, but somehow
This little red ball had probably rolled out of the
Classroom closet and crept across the
Hardwood floor and found me, and started
Touching me, not just once but multiple
Times, in a comforting, consoling way.
It was as if my flesh was being
Tended to by an inanimate object!
And strangely, I immediately sensed that
What I had been thinking about
Was going to be okay…
Leo Carroll
March 7, 2019
I felt it on my right hand,
A touch, a very light, imperceptible
Touch, an almost tender form of
Intimate communication and connection
And unexpected affection — when
I was otherwise immersed
In the midst of settling slowly
Into my meditation, and waiting up’n
A trance to relieve my mind —
I felt it, and then again, and
So I raised my head slightly from
My yoga mat to take a discreet,
Quick peek, and there,
Behold, nudging me with soft
Persistence and love was a
Small, red medicine ball,
Six inches in diameter, which
Had somehow rolled itself across the
Infinite expanse of the universe,
And was now reminding me
I was not alone, and any earthen
Concern was fleeting when
Before Creation’s power
Was compared…
Climbing Meg’s Mountain
Click for meditationRegarding "Climbing Meg’s Mountain"
This poem was written
Less than 12 months after I had joined
A new health club in the town where I lived, and
It also coincided with a period in my life
When I was in need of rejuvenation. I found myself
Taking part in my first-ever, spinning ‘Pedal to End Cancer’
Fundraiser. The lead instructor for the three hour
Ride was a whirling dervish, who took us on
A very intensive, cardio-demanding,
Simulated mountain climb, all to the
Pulsating sounds and cadence of great music. For
One straight hour she pounded us with
An endless barrage of merciless
Spinning commands and exhortations,
Which appeared to have no end to them…
She seemed oblivious to any and all
Difficulties we had keeping up with her!
It was our job to do what we had
To do! As part of completing that
Strenuous, wild ride, I was also
Reminded of the tremendous challenges
Occurring in the lives of other people,
Particularly with respect to cancer. And so
Today, right now, I look back with so
Much gratitude to that first ‘Pedal to End
Cancer’ experience, and I thank that
Spinning instructor for helping to lift me up
Out of myself, and for enabling me to
See that if cancer survivors could endure
Years, even decades, of debilitating
Treatment just to live one more day, then
I could do a mere three hour ride, and I could
Express gratitude for what I had received
As blessings in my life.
Leo Carroll
March 5, 2019
“Pump it!…, Push it!…”
“Keep back in your saddle!…”
“Keep your peddle strokes
Even and smooth!…”
“We’re going to do ‘jumps’
To the count of two – – up!…, up!…, up!…”
“We have a double chorus!!!…”
“Slide!…, Slide!…, Slide!…”
“Down to hand position three!…”
“Keep your elbows loose and relaxed,
And tucked into your body!…”
“Back in lohhhhwww!!!…”
“Keep working, keep working!…,
Watch your cadence!…”
.
.
.
…And thus on and on and without mercy, her
Commands continue and cascade and escalate, one upon the other,
Relentless, unyielding, pounding, driving me into the ground, and I know on this
Sunday morning that any mountain, this mountain, can be climbed
With the exhortation and aid of this endless
Fusillade from a ponytailed woman in the female form of an
Absolutely whirling tornado, and all I have
To do is “pump it”, and any doubt and despair can
Be conquered by my spinning flywheel, and cancer can
Inexorably be crushed and tossed into the fathomless dustbin
With its twin gargoyles of terror and fear.