Healing
Running on Wings
(Finding Grace at "Station Ten" in Boot Camp)
Click for meditationRegarding "Running on Wings"
Some years ago, I
Injured my right leg and ankle.
I had always been athletic, and loved
Playing sports, so when I
Lost the ability to
Run, fully run, it was a
Big loss to me. I missed the
Freedom to exert myself at a very
High level, and I realized I
Had to change my approach, or
My health would deteriorate. And
So I started to concentrate on
What I could do rather
Than what I couldn’t do,
And I discovered I could
Compensate for my lack of
Mobility in other ways.
I added swimming to
My exercise regimen, then
Weight training, stationary bike
Riding, and many other things.
I eventually began to take
Physical fitness classes.
This lead to one class called,
“Boot Camp,” in which
I was subjected to
A wide set of activities,
One being to run between
Two fluorescent-orange, floor cones.
When I first attempted this,
It was very difficult,
Because I ran with a limp. But
I kept trying, and my limp
Became less, and I finally reached the
Point of being able to slowly jog –
And I felt like my feet
Had wings, eagle’s wings, and
It was as if my body was
Lifted off the litter to soar…
Leo Carroll
November 7, 2018
I find myself running on feet
As if they were surely eagle-winged,
When I once thought I would
Ne’er run again, until, that is, my
Healing would come when I walked
Those tall, sweet grasses in the
Fair meadows of Elysium…
But here I am now, my gait
Restored to where I can at least
Meekly jog, and so I race back and
Forth between two fluorescent cones, as
If my feet were finally loosed of the earthen
Cords which kept them bound…
Climbing Meg’s Mountain
Click for meditationRegarding "Climbing Meg’s Mountain"
This poem was written
Less than 12 months after I had joined
A new health club in the town where I lived, and
It also coincided with a period in my life
When I was in need of rejuvenation. I found myself
Taking part in my first-ever, spinning ‘Pedal to End Cancer’
Fundraiser. The lead instructor for the three hour
Ride was a whirling dervish, who took us on
A very intensive, cardio-demanding,
Simulated mountain climb, all to the
Pulsating sounds and cadence of great music. For
One straight hour she pounded us with
An endless barrage of merciless
Spinning commands and exhortations,
Which appeared to have no end to them…
She seemed oblivious to any and all
Difficulties we had keeping up with her!
It was our job to do what we had
To do! As part of completing that
Strenuous, wild ride, I was also
Reminded of the tremendous challenges
Occurring in the lives of other people,
Particularly with respect to cancer. And so
Today, right now, I look back with so
Much gratitude to that first ‘Pedal to End
Cancer’ experience, and I thank that
Spinning instructor for helping to lift me up
Out of myself, and for enabling me to
See that if cancer survivors could endure
Years, even decades, of debilitating
Treatment just to live one more day, then
I could do a mere three hour ride, and I could
Express gratitude for what I had received
As blessings in my life.
Leo Carroll
March 5, 2019
“Pump it!…, Push it!…”
“Keep back in your saddle!…”
“Keep your peddle strokes
Even and smooth!…”
“We’re going to do ‘jumps’
To the count of two – – up!…, up!…, up!…”
“We have a double chorus!!!…”
“Slide!…, Slide!…, Slide!…”
“Down to hand position three!…”
“Keep your elbows loose and relaxed,
And tucked into your body!…”
“Back in lohhhhwww!!!…”
“Keep working, keep working!…,
Watch your cadence!…”
.
.
.
…And thus on and on and without mercy, her
Commands continue and cascade and escalate, one upon the other,
Relentless, unyielding, pounding, driving me into the ground, and I know on this
Sunday morning that any mountain, this mountain, can be climbed
With the exhortation and aid of this endless
Fusillade from a ponytailed woman in the female form of an
Absolutely whirling tornado, and all I have
To do is “pump it”, and any doubt and despair can
Be conquered by my spinning flywheel, and cancer can
Inexorably be crushed and tossed into the fathomless dustbin
With its twin gargoyles of terror and fear.
The Notebook
Click for meditationRegarding "The Notebook"
The most important thing I do
Every day is to write.
It is my life. It is my balm.
It is peaceful. It is
The one dependable
Action I take which is sure
Any raging waters
To calm. It is a gift to me.
Unmerited. It casts
A fence around me as
If I was reclined in the sweet
Sheepfold of Psalm 23.
It could even be
Viewed as my version
Of the Kingdom of Heaven,
That blessed seed
Bestowed within each of us,
Which has the
Potential to leaven into
A majestic, flowering tree.
Leo Carroll
October 2, 2018
Would this notebook
Be able to keep me afloat in
A raging sea, its paper,
Once wood, a life
Preserver’s giving me
Buoyancy, or,
Would last sight of
Me be with an arm
Raised high, notebook
Held up to the last,
And then down,
Down deep, gone,
Below the waves and
Into the vast…?
Prequel to ‘Elysian Daydreaming’
Click for meditationRegarding "Prequel to ‘Elysian Daydreaming’"
This poem was
Written six months after I wrote
“Elysian Daydreaming.” The two poems are
Companions to one another, but this
Poem is actually a prequel,
And depicts events
Leading up to, and prior to, the
First poem of July 1, 1998.
It describes the moments just
Before my dreamlike boat ride with
An unknown, mythical
Woman. Both poems
Are still very peaceful to me,
Lo all these twenty plus
Years later. They portray the
Exquisite happiness existing
Between a man and a woman in
The heavenly setting of an
Unbelievably placid lake in an
Unbelievably perfect time
And daydream.
Leo Carroll
February 5, 2019
I envision a woman
Upon a dock, a woman absorbed in
Blissful thought.
This woman slowly
Turns my way, as if expecting my
Arrival today…
Tied to the dock gently
Rocks a small boat, a boat at rest in
Elysian float.
This boat rides with a
Soothing sigh, knowing soon that
Two souls abide…
Elysian Daydreaming
Click for meditationRegarding "Elysian Daydreaming"
When I am
Daydreaming,
My mind can easily
Glide to musings
Near and far, to
Wild imaginings as
If I was living under the
Influence of another
Time or star…
And so twenty
Years ago I had a
Daydream, and
A fantasy-image
Floated to me of
Being in a small boat
And rowing across
Surreal, placid
Waters. I was
Accompanied by
An unknown,
Mythical woman,
And we were
On a lake with no
Beginning nor
Ending, and seemed
Suspended in
Exquisite peace.
Looking back on that
Daydream, it was
Perhaps a metaphor
For Elysium, a
Glimpse of the
Afterlife of the
Ancient Greeks, an
Absolute abode of
Ideal happiness,
And occurring beneath a
Canopy of eternal
Blessing.
Leo Carroll
November 29, 2018
There is a lake in
Golden time, locked in place
Forever mine…
Upon that lake I
Gently move, bathed in
Light on waters
Smooth.
There is a woman
By my side, also peaceful
In that ride.
Upon that lake an
Image holds, of all my
Dreams to yet
Unfold.
There is a day I
Know not when, I’ll take that
Trip of which I ken.
Until that time
I calmly wait, and row
My dream upon
That lake…