Faces
Morrill
Click for meditationRegarding "Morrill"
Every autumn for 21 years,
I went up to a cabin in the woods of
Morrill, Maine. It was a wonderful
Experience which I will never
Forget, and it is where I wrote scores
And scores of some of my
Favorite poetry. Seven years ago I
Took a sabbatical from going up,
But every fall I continued to
Feel the pull of the spiritual
Silence and majesty of those Maine
Woods. This autumn, after
My seven year hiatus, I
Returned for several nights
To those woods. It seemed a little
Strange for me, because
Although the woods appeared
Essentially the same, they
Did appear to have changed in
Subtle ways. It is hard
To explain. The more I have
Thought about this,
Though, the more I have
Come to realize that the true
Changes and differences
Were with me, and not the
Woods, and this is the theme of
All the poetry I wrote
While I was just up there. The
Poems try to put their
Finger on “something,” and the
“Something” is that the
Twenty one straight years
Were a distinct, unique period
In time, and performed a
Specific role in my life’s
Journey, and thus, when the
Woods and I saw each
Other again, we each took a
“Double-take” at each
Other – in pause and in
Shock – and I realized the truth
Of Thomas Wolfe’s saying,
“You can’t go home again,” and
Find either home and/or
Yourself the way things
Once were…
Leo Carroll
December 2, 2019
Ode to Morrill
You watch, waiting in
Silence, as if expecting I might
Have something to say, while I, in turn,
Watch you, thinking your
Branches to be both changed
And unchanged, your faces the same
Tho’ not the same…
Woods
Gray came up’n me,
Cold whipped the trunks of my soul,
Wind beat about me, and the
Woods whispered that “old” had crept
Into my snowy bones.
Moment
Still no movement, silence
Has even stopped…branches which are
Bent remain bent…branches
Which are straight guide my gaze
To their tops…
But then something flies
Chirping, and I would describe it if I
Could, but its feathers are
Too far away, and so I resume my
Autumn mood…
O, Angel of God
“O, Angel of God, my guardian dear…,”
And thus I begin my catechism’s
Childhood prayer, and then
In the silence, a distinct silence
Cold and white, a chorus rises up,
And chickadees alight…
Calling Out
“Where are you, Memory,
Where can I find you in the midst
Of this snowy field lying in
My mind and up’n this ground…?
Everything looks the same,
But my mind tells me
Something has changed…!”
Requiem
I returned to these woods to
Re-walk and live my old memories, and
Found some of them moved and
Wondered to where they
Might be keeping…?
And so I mused aloud,
“Is there not anything here
I can depend?!”
And then all my old
Haunts and shadows looked
O’er at me, and I knew
I had crossed the
Threshold to an e’er
Approaching requiem.
Musings
Click for meditationRegarding "Musings"
There are some moments,
Some places, some situations, which
Can cast us into a freefall of
Emotions and thoughts
And musings. Such was the
Case when I was on
The beach in Mutiny Bay
On Whidbey Island.
My writings, while there,
Were both related and
Unrelated to the beauty of
The seashore, but they
Were a consistent collage
Of who I was, who I am,
And where the Muse has
Led my longing to be.
My thoughts placed me in
Awe before the Divine,
But also swung me back to
Consider the clay of
My humanity.
Leo Carroll
November 20, 2019
Knowing
If only I knew that I would
Never know, that I was merely
Destined to sit a beach
Like this, and to always
Wonder the meaning of a back
And forth, tidal flow…
If only I knew that I would
Never know, would I still persist and
Sit this beach, and in tremble
And awe be satisfied
With what had been gifted
So exquisitely…?
Seasons
…The eternal, intriguing
Nature of your smile, felt
Particularly in autumn, and
Fleeting, but always long
Enough to me beguile…it haunts
Me still, ne’er too far away —
What once I felt I knew,
But now the meaning I
Cannot explain…
Feelings
Puget Sound cold are my hands,
And cool across my brow brushes
A wind which also cloisters
And huddles shoulder-to-shoulder
The grains of sand, but
Blessedly and thankfully,
Faintly still warms the sun, and
About me circles the lingering
Season of someone.
Whispers
Click for meditationRegarding "Whispers"
I recently spent three
Absolutely beautiful days on
Washington state’s
Whidbey Island. It was
A magnificent time,
Wondrous and peaceful,
The whole effect brought to
Gorgeous culmination
By the sun shining across
Puget Sound onto the shores
Of Mutiny Bay. It was
A stunning vista, a surreal
Majesty. Standing on
The water’s edge, it was
As if I was at Heaven’s
Gate, and all I had
To do was to dip my
Toes into the water
Or to wet my face with
The clear-as-glass
Saline liquid, and I
Would enter a portal to
Everlasting grace.
Leo Carroll
October 29, 2019
Path’s End
Could I have finally
Found what so long for I
Have sought, my first glimpse of
Heaven’s gate where the
Water purrs like a mirror
‘Neath the care of a loving,
Soft cloth…? And radiant
To me, presented as
Peace almost blinding
Yet abiding, beaming through
Gilded clouds, as if God’s
Face was unfurled in a
Predestined bottle
Shining…
Awe
My footprints stop at
Water’s edge, having finally in awe
Come upon a view of
Waiting heav’n…and then,
Realizing the Beauty
Was far, far more than
Mortal verse could
Express…I became
Speechless, content to be
A witness to the Mysterious
And unexpected…
Whose
And whose other
Footprints are these, has
Someone else stood
This shore and
Heaven’s gate also seen, a
Portal open through
Which a pilgrim can walk,
And into the Kingdom
Of Light be welcomed as a son
Or daughter of God?
Plea
Cleanse me, O Lord, of
That which I should
Not imbibe, and leave within
Me only the salt from
This flat, calm sea,
A metaphor I believe
For when I first became
Alive…and realized in
Your presence that
Terror was defeated…
If Only
If only I could wash
My face clean…all that would be
Left would be the salt of
The Divine…and I could taste
It with my tongue and
Up’n my soul let it lie…
Before the Throne
Comes to me the
Chirp of some bird, the buzz of
Some simple bee, and
Then silence, extended
Silence, silence like it
Was before was heard the first
Sound, and then before
Me shrugged the
Essence of All Majesty
And spoke, “What is
Your doubt, why is lament
So often your song?”
Climbing
Click for meditationRegarding "Climbing"
In one of
The Gospel stories,
Jesus is tempted when
He is shown all the vast riches
Of the world, and is told
All of these could be
His if only He, Jesus, would
Relent and worship Satan…
Whether a Christian Believer or not,
All of us can relate to this
Story in some respect, because
We are all “tempted”
In life to give in to earthly
Desires, and to ignore the
Blessings of Creation which
Abound all around us
And also within us.
In a variation of that
Gospel theme, when I recently saw a
Tree stump with fungi growing
Out of its sides like steps,
It reminded me (again) how
My own life is a work in
Progress, and how each latticed
Foothold of fungus was a
Metaphor for something very
Significant in my life, and that when
I someday do finally reach the
Zenith of my journey – – what I will
See will be not the riches
Of the world as I sit the
Roughhewn, splintery seat of the
Stump, but the nearby rock
Garden it overlooked, filled with
The floral faces and blessings
Of all that which God
To me had so lovingly and
Naturally and freely always
Provided…
Leo Carroll
September 16, 2019
Up each latticed
Fungus I crawl, hand
O’er hand scrambling to reach
The summit of a tree
Stump’s throne.
“What am I king of?”
I muse, as I finally sit atop the
Weather’d hardwood cut.
“Surely my domain
Contains naught of earthly
Riches, but just the
Love and affection of
My garden’s
Faithful hearts.”
Awakening
Click for meditationRegarding "Awakening"
My life has been
Anointed with far, far more
Gifts than it has with any trials and
Challenges which are otherwise
Names for the unremitting human condition.
Millions of little things, like
A songbird, an autumn leaf, a
Stranger’s smile, an unexpected
Encounter, a perfect
Snowflake, a dandelion, the
Love of a grandchild…
All these things and endless
More are constantly
Given freely when we may be
Thinking of ourselves as otherwise
Alone. I believe there is a
Power Greater Than We Are
Which knows of our
Existence. Each of us calls
This Power by a different name,
And even some who do
Not believe in a Higher Power
Acknowledge its possibility by virtue
Of disclaiming its very existence.
We are blessed so much in
Our day-to-day lives with Beauty…
Beauty which itself is a
Manifestation and face of
Our Higher Power.
For me, I hope my life’s
Path is a long one, in whatever
Form and realm my physical and
Spiritual travels may take…
I feel I am still in the early
Stages of having my rough edges
Smoothed, and every time I
Am bowed I am elevated by an
Unexpected gift which
Grabs me under the arm…
Like the Rhode Island lotus
Flower this poem describes, in
Its own right wondrous in its
Appearance, but, nevertheless, not
Limited by its physical beauty,
Because it, too, is always
Becoming through the work of
Creation mysteriously even
More beautiful, like all of us
Are, as the inside of us unfurls,
And our Higher Power finally
Says, “Behold My Child.”
Leo Carroll
December 28, 2019
As if at long last
Revealing its inner self,
All caution set aside,
What had been enough
Finally deemed to be enough,
What had heretofore
Been cloaked, but
Caught now in photo
As it floated upon
A Rhode Island pond,
A lotus flower in the
Faintest pinks and
Whites and greens and
Yellows, all blending
In the hues of a
Proffered heart
Given freely, and its
Beat the divine
Rhythm of the
Blood of Beauty,
The pulse soft and
Subdued, the petals
A cushion for
God’s footstool,
Whereupon the
Haversacks could be
Placed of weary,
Arriving souls.
Leo Carroll
August 3, 2019
Westford, Massachusetts