Change
Morrill
Click for meditationRegarding "Morrill"
Every autumn for 21 years,
I went up to a cabin in the woods of
Morrill, Maine. It was a wonderful
Experience which I will never
Forget, and it is where I wrote scores
And scores of some of my
Favorite poetry. Seven years ago I
Took a sabbatical from going up,
But every fall I continued to
Feel the pull of the spiritual
Silence and majesty of those Maine
Woods. This autumn, after
My seven year hiatus, I
Returned for several nights
To those woods. It seemed a little
Strange for me, because
Although the woods appeared
Essentially the same, they
Did appear to have changed in
Subtle ways. It is hard
To explain. The more I have
Thought about this,
Though, the more I have
Come to realize that the true
Changes and differences
Were with me, and not the
Woods, and this is the theme of
All the poetry I wrote
While I was just up there. The
Poems try to put their
Finger on “something,” and the
“Something” is that the
Twenty one straight years
Were a distinct, unique period
In time, and performed a
Specific role in my life’s
Journey, and thus, when the
Woods and I saw each
Other again, we each took a
“Double-take” at each
Other – in pause and in
Shock – and I realized the truth
Of Thomas Wolfe’s saying,
“You can’t go home again,” and
Find either home and/or
Yourself the way things
Once were…
Leo Carroll
December 2, 2019
Ode to Morrill
You watch, waiting in
Silence, as if expecting I might
Have something to say, while I, in turn,
Watch you, thinking your
Branches to be both changed
And unchanged, your faces the same
Tho’ not the same…
Woods
Gray came up’n me,
Cold whipped the trunks of my soul,
Wind beat about me, and the
Woods whispered that “old” had crept
Into my snowy bones.
Moment
Still no movement, silence
Has even stopped…branches which are
Bent remain bent…branches
Which are straight guide my gaze
To their tops…
But then something flies
Chirping, and I would describe it if I
Could, but its feathers are
Too far away, and so I resume my
Autumn mood…
O, Angel of God
“O, Angel of God, my guardian dear…,”
And thus I begin my catechism’s
Childhood prayer, and then
In the silence, a distinct silence
Cold and white, a chorus rises up,
And chickadees alight…
Calling Out
“Where are you, Memory,
Where can I find you in the midst
Of this snowy field lying in
My mind and up’n this ground…?
Everything looks the same,
But my mind tells me
Something has changed…!”
Requiem
I returned to these woods to
Re-walk and live my old memories, and
Found some of them moved and
Wondered to where they
Might be keeping…?
And so I mused aloud,
“Is there not anything here
I can depend?!”
And then all my old
Haunts and shadows looked
O’er at me, and I knew
I had crossed the
Threshold to an e’er
Approaching requiem.
Morrill Road
Click for meditationRegarding "Morrill Road"
There is a road, a magical,
Spiritual one, which leads me into the
Woods in Morrill, Maine.
It is not like the fantastical
Yellow Brick Road of “Wizard of Oz”
Fame, but every time I visit
These Maine woods I travel down this
Road as I descend deeper
And deeper into a “different”
World – – into a world which is as
Different from my normal
Existence as could possibly be…
I recently traversed this
Road once again as part of
Returning for several
Nights to a cabin in these
Woods, which at one time
I had visited annually
Every autumn for 21
Straight years. As I’ve
Detailed already in another
Associated meditation, there was
“Something” which was
Not the “same” this
Abbreviated time around.
The biggest contributor
To things seeming changed
Were not the woods,
Themselves, but me…!
For I had changed, as much
If not more than any
Tree or branch or stream
Or animal or anything I would
See…! And this change
Played out as I
Reflected upon those
Things I encountered, such as a
Remnant, colonial-era
Homestead and its
Surviving cellar hole…and a
Myriad of other things
I once knew years and years ago. …
To re-visit these things, I
Had descended what on a
Topographical map is only referred
To as a “Jeep Trail,” but in
My mind is a one-of-a kind
Portal Into a deep,
Spiritual world of unimaginable
Eye-openings and magical
Goings-on…
Leo Carroll
December 9, 2019
Jeep Trail
What a wonderful road,
Its ruts and rocks and grooves painted like
A mural up’n the melting snow!
It winds like a pathway
Interconnecting
Spiritual things…and oh the
Wisdom of its compass
Heading…especially when I
Am filled with the anticipation of
Where its portal leads…!
Thanksgiving
E’en aft all the glorious
Things this earth has already seen,
Can still be found such a
Lovely, holy road, and it leads
To a blessed place where
Seated I can witness as all about
To the Lord sings…
Not Too Far
Click for meditationRegarding "Not Too Far"
Not too far from the Jeep Trail
Winding through Morrill’s woods is an old
Colonial-era homestead, or, more
Specifically, the homestead’s
Cellar hole, made of hardscrabble
Stones which would have been
Painfully unearthed by calloused
Flesh in times long gone.
The homestead site is totally
Invisible from the Jeep Trail, perhaps
No more than 75 feet away…
Forgotten, blocked by
Increasingly thick woods.
Also blocked or lost
Are all the homestead’s
Memories. Trees are even
Trying to grow in the cellar hole
Itself! Nothing speaks,
Nothing moves…it is only
Creation which knows what the
Stone cellar walls know.
It is only Creation which has
Heard the voices which once made
The homestead a home.
And it is only Creation
Which can bathe in warmth
The cold November temperatures
Ingrained in the stones, even
As they still feel the freeze
Of the ancient glacier which once
Tumbled them when the
Land was not even known…
Leo Carroll
December 11, 2019
Near the Jeep Trail
Here I sit this cellar hole amidst,
Just stoic stones remaining without the flesh
Which long ago them set…nothing
Left now…no voices, no laughing,
No crying…no pain, no joy…
No births, no deaths…no nothing…
Just this lone moment long
After footsteps took their last
Step…long after the last
Crib was rocked, long after
Was whispered the final vesper
At someone’s death…
But yet despite, still the sun
Shines, and to the cellar
Hole addresses, “I know all that
You did…so please take my
Warmth, and let this light up’n
Your stones be visited.”
Ode to Old Homestead
E’en the trees have tried to
Take o’er your cellar’s soul…but they
Underestimate the strength of
Your carefully-fitted stones…
What chance have the trees – –
Their trunks are made of
Mere wood!? Your stones are
Much harder than that, and e’en
An ancient glacier into the
Sea could not them push…
Summer Daydreaming
Click for meditationRegarding "Summer Daydreaming"
I love that little Maine
Beach where I found myself sitting
Last week! Every year it
Becomes my safe harbor to
Daydream, wonder, and reflect. No more
Than a quarter mile in length,
It points seaward into
The Gulf of Maine.
Cold the water is! Brrrr!
Healing! Rejuvenating!
And it seems that
Every year as I sit upon
That beach, a fog bank will
Regularly roll in, and a sailboat
Will come into view tacking
In and out of my sight.
I have a relationship
With that sailboat which is
Complicated to define.
It has so many different
Meanings to me, and each one
Is synonymous with
Various themes at work
In my life. One of the
Most important of these
Themes is the loosing of
An almost continual, merciful,
Thought-stream of verse
And stanza, which will
Slip in and out of my
Consciousness like that
Which tacks in an out of a
Marvelous coastal
Maine fogbank, and
Where on my last day
Sitting — it will disappear
Until next year…
Leo Carroll
August 20, 2019
Found
Like a sailboat my voice
Wafts, tacking into the wind, and
Then blithely disappears into the fog’s womb,
Where it soon re-emerges again…
It seems as if my speech has
Been released by the muse on
Behalf of merciful God, and verse and
Stanza have been loosed by
Healing spittle upon a
Tongue’s tied knot.
Sailing
It is as if
On that sailboat I found
My voice, and in and out of the fog tacked
Verse and stanza which
Had waited to be released for
Eons without choice.
“Heave into sight,” shouted
The First Mate, and from the crow’s nest
Then hollered down, “Nary a fear
Is in view, just whitecaps
And blue sky in natural union
Abounding.”
Embedded I Am
Click for meditationRegarding "Embedded I Am"
When I write, when
I garden, I become my poetry, I
Become my garden. I am
Synonymous with my
Verse and stanza,
I am synonymous with
The placement and choice
And color of my plants
And flowers.
I become what
I am creating, always
Evolving, editing, pruning,
Shaping, like someone on a
Pilgrim’s path, always
Influenced by the
Surprises, twists, and
Turns of what
Life has chosen to
Present. My poetry is
As if by the tides
Being polished,
My gardens are
Always being tilled,
And in God’s image
I am being rhythmically
Smoothed and
Rounded until …
Leo Carroll
July 17, 2019
Embedded I am, fitted
Like a puzzle piece into my garden,
Comfortable, under the
Sweet shade of a day lily and
On the sheltered side of
A leafy hosta’s pardon.