In Remembrance

Regarding "In Remembrance"

My father was a firefighter
For decades, but seldom, if ever, spoke
Of the true dangers he faced.
He would come home from a
Shift, and might say he was
At a “bad fire” the night before,
But nary a word was breathed about
What made it so “bad.” Years
Later he confided to me a few
Details, but he totally carried most
Of his experiences to the grave.
Towards the end of his life,
He gave me some of his
Old fireman gear, including
His rubber coat, boots, and helmet.
All of his equipment was
Saturated with the smell of smoke,
Smoke which had swirled from
Fires many years before.
In each pocket of his rubber
Coat was a door wedge. I once asked
Him about it. He told me every
Fireman was taught to carry them
So they could wedge open a door, and
Not have it close unexpectedly
Behind them and trap them.
His wedges were all darkened and
Disfigured and smelled, too. In my Dad’s
Days as a fireman, firehouses did
Not have washers and dryers
For the firefighters to keep
Their fire clothing clean.
In Massachusetts they now do.
But the dangers of carcinogens in
Smoke–infused environments
Were not commonly known years ago.
From the time my father went to
His first fire until his very last,
He simply kept wearing the
Same heat-seared and smoke-reeked
Gear over and over. And so when I
Got possession of his equipment,
I ultimately hung it outside
On a maple tree to air out. It is
Still there. One day this past winter it
Snowed out…and the flakes
Alighted his coat and gently
Just stayed. I sensed he was getting
An anointing. I and my siblings
Might not know the details of his
Firefighting career, but Creation knew
The humbleness and dependability of what
He unselfishly always did…

Leo Carroll
July 22, 2019